In today’s fast-paced society, we are constantly told to hustle, strive, and continue to move forward—we tend to overlook an important human tool—reflection. However, there are stories like James Palmer’s Unbroken Soul that reflect to us the importance of taking a step back and looking inward—this is where true transformation begins. If we talk about the book Unbroken Soul is more than a memoir; it is a meditation on pain, redemption, and self-discovery. The book directs attention to the power of reflection—showing how taking time to reflect back on one’s past actions, feelings, and trauma is the first step to a new life. Whether you are recovering from emotional wounds, pursuing personal growth, or simply trying to get to know yourself better, reflection gives you a mirror to your soul. And that mirror, however uncomfortable it may be, holds the keys to clarity, change, and peace.
What Is Reflection?
Reflection is not just thinking back on what happened; it is deep, thoughtful consideration—it is about examining difficult and sitting with uncomfortable truths. It’s the process of
- Reflecting on your actions and experiences,
- Recognizing your feelings and motivations,
- Noticing patterns and thinking about lessons learned,
- And using that awareness to shape your future.
Reflection is the intersection between responsibility and compassion. It is built on honesty, but not judgment. It asks that you learn from the past but not be shackled to it. James Palmer’s story in Unbroken Soul illustrates this beautifully. In the bleakest corners of juvenile detention, carrying guilt and regret, he found himself asking, “Who am I beyond what I have done and who do I want to be?” That’s where transformation begins.
Why Reflection is More Important Than Ever
Living in today’s digital world makes silence few and far between and distraction constant. Social media, the difficult-to-stop cycle of scrolling and the 24-hour news cycle encourage an ever-shifting outward attention that dulls or numbs our awareness of what we are experiencing in our own insides.
Reflection is important, especially when:
- You have done something wrong and want to learn from it.
- You are experiencing trauma and want to get well.
- You are feeling lost, stuck, or overwhelmed.
- Or you want to be more intentional about how you live.
When we don’t reflect, we repeat things that are harmful. We respond rather than react. We numb pain instead of processing it. We coexist instead of living. Reflection allows us to process our past, understand our present, and become active in shaping our future.
The Emotional Values of Reflection
Reflection is not always easy. It can be painful to reflect on unpleasant memories, accept our mistakes, or contemplate truths we wish were buried. However, discomfort can lead to growth. Here’s how reflection can bring transformation in an emotional way:
- Healing migration of emotional and psychological trauma
Just as reflected by Unbroken Soul, many emotional and psychological wounds cannot even be seen. Just like Palmer’s story indicates, emotional pain resulting in self-destruction can languish unchecked, but reflection can be the essence of healing. When we reflect, we allow ourselves the space to process our pain rather than avoid it. We will begin to comprehend why we feel the way that we feel and how past experiences continue to influence us in our beliefs and behavior.
- Develop personal self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
You cannot change something if you do not understand it. Reflection can enable you to discover triggers and habits and how these cause responses. Awareness—focused awareness—is at the root of your emotional intelligence: knowing how to regulate your feelings, empathize with others, and make better decisions.
- Letting Go of Shame and Guilt
Many people, especially those with troubled pasts like Palmer, wear their guilt on their sleeve. Reflecting on what you’ve done—combined with self-kindness—will help you move from guilt to growth. You can embrace your past and it can still be you, but you are not it. As Palmer writes between the lines, the reflection gave him space to own his wrongs—but also to dream of a new self.
The Practical Power of Reflection
Reflection is not just emotional; it can be practical too. In fact, many of the most successful people in the world engage in reflection regularly. Here are some ways you can use reflection in your everyday life:
- To Make Better Decisions
When you reflect on the decisions you’ve made in the past—both good and bad—you begin to notice patterns. This allows you to not only reflect on them so you avoid repeating mistakes but also to trust your gut and make more prudent decisions in the future.
- To Set Meaningful Goals
When reflecting on your values, motivations, and past efforts, reflection allows you to set concrete and achievable goals. Instead of chasing what seems good, you deserve to chase what is good for you.
- Build on Relationships
Through your reflection about disagreement or communication breakdown, you may also notice not just what someone else brought to the conflict, but what you did—and how you could have done it better. It has the potential to create a greater depth of empathy and create more genuine connections.
How to Begin Reflecting (Even If It Feels Awkward)
If you haven’t practiced self-reflection before, it’s normal to feel somewhat at sea as you get started. Don’t worry. Practicing any new skill gets a little easier the more you practice. Try some of these suggestions:
- Journaling
Reflect on your day, your emotions, your challenges, or a specific moment when something happened that connected with your feelings. Use journal prompts, like
- What did I learn about myself today?
- What challenged or triggered me today? How come?
- What am I avoiding, and what might that teach me?
- Sitting in Silence
Practice sitting in silence (for 10—15 minutes) and maintaining your focus. Avoid distractions and allow your mind to consider your day and your experiences and allow your thoughts just to flow. If you would like, you could couple your time in silence with meditation or prayer.
- Reach Out for Feedback
Sometimes reflection means looking at ourselves through the lens of someone else. You might reach out to friends, a therapist, or a mentor: “I wonder what you see in me that I don’t see?”
- Read Reflective Stories
Reading books, such as. Unbroken Soul may inspire deep, personal reflection. When reading someone else’s experience, vulnerability and growth serve as an inspiration for wondering about our own experiences.
Reflection is not weakness
It is easy to think of reflection as passive, even self-indulgent. But in fact, reflection is one of the most difficult things we can do. It requires vulnerability and humility; it requires us to face ourselves. As James Palmer’s experience shows, there aren’t many barriers to reflecting—and for those who reflect, regardless of the pain of their past, the future can be reclaimed. Reflection can break cycles of behavior or social conditioning in our lives. It can heal wounds. It enables us to become who we are meant to be.
Conclusion
You don’t have to go to jail like James Palmer to participate in reflection. Everyone has scars. Everyone has regrets. But everyone can pause, reflect, and write a new ending. So create the time to think, feel, and be better. Because the most important journey you will ever undertake is not out there—it is in here! And the power of reflection will illuminate the path ahead.
